From brother Dennis:
WHITE ELEPHANT
When I saw it in the front yard,
I wondered who was responsible.
The neighbor who complains,
When I park in front of his house?
My brother, to whom I’ve owned money,
For many years?
Unknown persons who want to cause trouble,
Just because they can?
Should I give it something to eat?
Should I give it some water?
Before I could decide,
It had eaten half the leaves off
The privet hedge and jacaranda tree,
And trampled the bromeliads
And left a hairy deposit of dung,
In the middle of the sidewalk.
I wondered if it was really white,
Or if someone had painted it.
(people do that, you know)
It seemed neither friendly nor unfriendly,
But I wasn’t ready to get too close.
Discretion, as Falstaff wisely knew,
Is the better part of valor.
I called Animal Control, and described the situation;
The person told me that they deal with animals,
Dogs and cats and such, not personal problems.
I called the city Zoo and the person asked me
If I had been drinking, or taking drugs.
Was that any of their business?
As a last resort, I called the Police,
And the person told me that it didn’t sound
Like a crime had been committed.
They advised me to call Animal Control.
I called Animal Control, and described the situation;
The person told me that they deal with animals,
Dogs and cats and such, not personal problems.
I called the city Zoo and the person asked me
If I had been drinking, or taking drugs.
Was that any of their business?
As a last resort, I called the Police,
And the person told me that it didn’t sound
Like a crime had been committed.
They advised me to call Animal Control.
By that time it had eaten the succulents and cactus.
And was poking around for more–
What would be next?
I got a head of cabbage from the refrigerator,
And tossed it out into the yard–a distraction!
I sneaked around it to open the gate,
Then sneaked back and sat at the window watching,
Waiting for it to leave. Finally it did.
Where did it go? I don’t know.
It’s somebody else’s problem now.
UPDATE 7/30/21: I got in touch with Dennis and demanded photographic evidence. He sent this along:
